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Ep 283 Transcript

00:02

All right, welcome to this episode of The joyful scaling Podcast. Today, I am blessed to be here with violet rainwater. And she’s a corporate sales trainer and speaker she’s on mission to heal the modern workplace. And today’s episode is about just that, what our businesses can look like when we do the deep inner work of healing. Now, the best way I thought to introduce and tee up our conversation was to read directly from a passage on violets website, because I think it’s her background is very relatable to us. Okay, so here it goes like this. Early on in my career working as a financial advisor. On the outside, I looked as if I had it all together, earning half a million dollars a year, it appeared as if I was living a picture perfect life. However, on the inside, I was stuck in survival mode with many destructive coping mechanisms. Ladies, is this resonating with you open your mind and heart. Okay. Violet goes on to say no matter how much I achieved, some things never changed. anxiety, worry, fear filled my days from morning till night. I wish my leaders gave me the tools and the wisdom to help me navigate change in a healthy and productive way. So why didn’t think the truth is most leaders are not equipped with the knowledge or the tools to manage their own fears, let alone Those are their team. And from this place of hopelessness violets vision was born today she’s on mission to educate and equip the modern workplace with the innovative framework that she’s come up with to help them heal the past to break free of their programming. Okay, your your, your ways of doing things right and thrive in the new workplace. Let’s welcome violet to the show.

 

01:42

Thank you. Thank you so much. What a great introduction.

 

01:47

You’re awesome. Well, I saw on your website, you’ve worked with some major corporations like Allstate and monster, and you also work with small businesses. So let’s talk about your journey from looks great on the outside your your your kind of dying on the inside and how you made it through?

 

02:05

Yeah, yeah, it was two decades that I ran that way. You know, being a immigrant I immigrated from Russia in 1978. You know, so coming to the United States, from a communist country where we didn’t have like, think about the, you know, the 80s. In the US, it was all about stuff and material possessions. And so I assumed in my young mind that that success was all about money. That was the American dream. And that’s what I chased. And I remember, I kept thinking that I just needed to make more money, and then I’ll feel better, right? So first it was I just need to make six figures. Once I make 100, then I’ll be successful, then I’ll like myself, then I’ll feel better. And then, you know, I made 100. I’m, in fact, I was making 170, my second year out of college, but nothing changed. And so I thought, oh, I need to make 200. And then the next year, it was, oh, I need to make 250. And it just kept going. And here I was, you know, at the peak of my career, it wasn’t like I was working 80 hours a week. It wasn’t that period of my life. Like I had a proven system. You know, I had balance, but it didn’t matter. I was making half a million a year. But that same emptiness, that same feeling of it’s not enough, that same feeling of anxiety, that big wave taking me under, it stayed with me from morning till night, you know, and I just finally started getting angry at all the money that I had, because I realized I was chasing the wrong dream. All along, and I see this everywhere. I see people always, you know, thinking that fulfillment, joy it comes from outside of them. But it doesn’t all those things come from doing the deep work, as you said. And so all of this came full circle for me, I was actually fired. From my half a million dollar fancy corporate job, for the first time in my life. And it I literally lost everything, everything that I worked so hard for, I watched as I lost it all, like my whole life crumbled before me. And at the time, it was the hardest thing I went through. But looking back now I’m seven years in my healing journey. It was the biggest blessing in disguise. And I really want to say this duty because I know that people are there right now. I know there are people that are just starting what I call the hero’s journey, they have been called to walk away from the life that they’ve have known. And it’s not maybe a life that they love, and they’re fulfilled, but it’s what they know. And the new life has yet to develop. And that’s a really scary place to be. And we find so many people right now after COVID with job losses and you know, business losses and just everything else in the middle. That’s where they’re at their whole holding on by a string and I want to be that light in the dark tunnel and let them know that this is a blessing that all these things are happening are happening for you. So just lean into it and start your healing journey because that’s how I started mine and it was law And it was painful. But I wouldn’t change it for anything. And that’s really how it all came full circle. For

 

05:06

me, that is so, so good. Because when I look at a major pivotal point of my life, it was a head on collision with a drunk driver. And I know and I knew it even that day that that was God’s way of saying, Jude, I do I got your attention now, like going the wrong way. The right way. So So that’s great. So but but but take us back to that time, when you Oh, as in your words, the world’s crumbling around you. Yeah. How did you begin to Yeah,

 

05:35

well, first, for the first six months, I just was numb, like, I couldn’t pry, it was too much for me, because I had realized that my self worth was always attached to the money I made. So now I wasn’t making money. So how did I feel about myself? Oh, and so I realized I had no self confidence, I had no sense of self. And I didn’t know myself, like everything that I thought to be true about myself was just based on what I thought other people wanted me to be, you know, this is one of the symptoms of and I talk about this a lot with my clients and my presentations. These are the symptoms of having trauma in childhood, when our brains are being developed when our nervous system is being wired. And then when we don’t take steps to heal. That’s how it shows up. You know, so I had, my image of myself was completely worked. In fact, I remember I would hit reach for these insane goals in sales in a male dominated space, and I would hit him. And instead of like, even having a day to feel good about it, I almost felt that because now I was like, Okay, now I gotta hit the next goal. I wouldn’t I couldn’t even feel joy for a moment, not for a moment, because there was so much darkness inside of me, there was so many lies that I believed. And so the first thing I did, and I always recommend this knowledge is power, read up on not PTSD, but see PTSD, complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, because that is what when you have had any kind of trauma or perceived trauma in childhood, during that like four to 10. And that’s right, when we came to the United States, like the heart, you know, poverty, neglect, hunger, all of it was during that time. So mine was really extreme. I had trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma. But it wasn’t until I started educating myself, I started with a book called the body keeps score. And that book changed my life because I realized that it was textbook, like everything in the book was things that I was struggling with. So the first thing is awareness, you need to understand not just what happened to you, but how what happened to you affected your brain and what it looks like today. And that’s what they don’t talk about in the workplace. And so once I have that awareness, it was a very slow process, like extreme and that was so frustrating for me because I’m like high energy type a like, Okay, let’s do this. Let’s make it happen. That’s not what the journey is about. The journey is about slowing down. The journey is about taking walks in nature, the journey is about taking naps, the journey is about checking in with yourself and starting to meditate. And that’s really key. I really want to stress this. I started four years ago, a daily meditation practice, and if anybody is struggling in their life, this is something that is not optional, you must start creating new pathways in the brain. That’s what meditation does. Because I was wired to run on anxiety. I was wired to fail. Essentially, I was wired to always see myself as something’s fundamentally wrong with me, I could never see good in myself. But what meditating did is it started creating new pathways in my brain and it started calming my nervous system and that is,

 

08:57

okay, hold on one second. So when you say meditation to me, the world kind of took that into crazy, like center yourself Homina homina, which I’m not about so I’m about praying to the Lord because He is so so helped me like when you say, action, like Yeah, so So what is right okay, so so so what would you actually pray? Would you say Lord revealed to be who I really am, like,

 

09:24

find find a verse in the Bible. So my husband and I have very different meditation styles. He starts off every morning with reading the Scripture, he takes certain verses, and he will just meditate on it and it’s the feeling of connection within him, right? Whereas for me, I wasn’t raised with God like we you know, coming from a communist country. We were not even allowed like, we are raising our kids Christian and we bring God into our lives and I see the difference, but I didn’t have that as my foundation. I wish I did, but I did not that’s why I’m big on bringing you know Whatever it is that connection to something much bigger than you, that makes you feel safe and that you’re, that you’re protected and that God’s got you like God’s got you like this is happening for you, all those things are in alignment with our highest self and with the type of thinking that we should be having. But that’s not the kind of thinking I had. So my meditation is more just a guided meditation where I go to something that I want to happen. And I start thanking the Lord for bringing this into my life already, start visualizing things in advance, start thanking him in advance for, for promoting me for prospering me, you know, so it’s really just taking time to set your energy to set your day for success. Whereas a lot of people like myself used to I’d start off with, why not? Why don’t you do what I need you to that and I forgot to do that. And I can’t forget to do that. That’s not how we need to start our day. And that’s where our power is.

 

11:01

Yes. And stay there. Like, okay, so it’s like, okay, so, so but it’s funny, because I laugh when you said, I usually start my day, where it’s like, Okay, I gotta I wake up, and I go, Okay, gotta do that kind of do that. Got to do that. So that’s why for me, I go get my coffee, and then I come back, and then that’s my time with the Lord. But it’s funny how the enemy wants to distract us from that. Come on. Well, wait a minute. You don’t have time for that today? Because today, you got it, you know? So that’s just like you said, intentionally? This is what I do to start my day, frankly,

 

11:34

oh, no, not today. I’m not going to believe those lies about myself today. I’ve been believing those lies for decades. And where did it get me nowhere. So I’m going to believe that I am worthy, I’m going to believe that I am worth it that God is opening doors for me that there is room for me, I got stable, you know. So those are the kind of view ideas that I had to start in printing in my mind. Because I didn’t believe those things. I believed that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. So no matter what I did, no matter what I reached or achieved, it was never enough.

 

12:08

Wow. Because you know, I just I’m always thoughtful as I conduct these interviews, because I want to bring it back to me, to the extent that that would help my listeners. And so as you’re saying that I’m thinking, my mom and dad loved me, but there surely was dysfunction in the home, as I believe there is in every home. It’s amazing, how much and all that and what it is. But you know, only recently have I thought that maybe I don’t like myself. Like I’m becoming aware of that, I think to your point, that’s like the beginning of healings.

 

12:41

Huge. Yeah. Because without an awareness to it, you can’t you can’t fix it. I once read a book, it was a game changer. For me, it was called the the ultimate secrets to total self confidence by Dr. Robert Anthony. And the book even says, only read this book, if you want to change your life, like do not read this book unless you’re ready to change your life. And he specifically says you can never outperform your level of awareness. So if your level of awareness is here, but you have visions and goals up here, you have to begin by increasing your level of awareness. And you just nailed it, we must understand what are the thoughts that hold us back? You know, so if you just realize I don’t really think I like myself? Wow, that is great insight. Because now you know. I mean, I think that’s our generate, I would say more people than not, don’t like themselves, don’t I see it every day, every day I talk to women who don’t see their value, who are, you know, used to putting themselves down and judging themselves and they’re so hard on themselves, they don’t see how much beauty they’re adding into the world. They don’t see all the light that they came to share. They’re just so focused on their darkness. And so I think, oh, important to look up, look up, like, you know, look up, because that’s where the light is. That’s where our thoughts have to be in alignment.

 

14:01

So good. And when I say just to be clear, because I know I am a leader and women look to me, and when they hear me say that, they might say What do you mean, you don’t like yourself? There’s parts of me that I love. And you know what every part that I love, it’s because I’ve allowed Jesus in, right? And so those parts of life where as I’m seeing it, not fully surrendered. Like, that’s the point, you know, where I’m like, holding on to me, or you

 

14:29

don’t? Yeah, you don’t trust it. You don’t trust yourself for the process. So that’s just an awareness for you that there’s room for growth. Right. And so that’s a beautiful, that’s beautiful that you have room for growth that you just realize, oh, this is an area in my life that I can develop.

 

14:46

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So on this healing journey, and I believe that is absolutely just like when we are being sanctified in Christ, I mean, what I was in my early 40s And where I am now with my maturity and my faith is like night and day. So I think the progression, but what’s the next step beyond awareness?

 

15:05

Yeah, so awareness is where it begins. And I think it’s really important to go back and really visit what I call your child of yesterday. So I’ll share a brief story. And I think this will really be, it was really profound when I went back and realize this. I remember, you know, being a Russian immigrant as a young kid during the Cold War, I was called a commie. So I was like, bullied at school, I came home, and then my dad, you know, was all into corporal punishment, like a lot of European fathers. And, you know, he, I could never meet his level expectation. So it’s just like the whole world. I just felt like I got beat up all day physically, and you know, metaphorically speaking, and I was curled up in a ball, I might have been like five or six in the bathroom. And I was just like, thinking like, why did this why like, why am I poor? And why am I Russian? And why doesn’t anyone like me? And why does my dad beat me? Like all these things? Like, why, why, why? And I got the answer. And that’s what I carried with me until I began my healing journey. And I remember I remember realizing, oh, it’s because God doesn’t love me. Something so wrong with me that God doesn’t love me. And that’s the belief that I carried every single day of my life without having an awareness to it. And so once I had an awareness to it, now, I needed to start incorporating daily practices that basically unlearn that belief that prove that belief wrong. So if I felt like I was unlovable, I was started doing things like I have a toolbox of tools that made me feel like I was lovable. You see what I’m saying? So it’s starting to break those pathways. I’ll show you a perfect example. So here’s a piece of paper. If I was to fold this piece of paper, think of this as the brain, every thought we have, creates a pathway, okay? And so I started at five years old, believing that God doesn’t love me. And every time I thought that or I had a situation that reminded me, God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t love me, God. And okay, so now fast forward four decades? What’s going to happen naturally, when this paper folds? Which way? Is it going to fold?

 

17:20

Yeah, there it goes. Yep.

 

17:22

So what what do we need to do, we need to create higher, I always say Higher Look up, we need to create new pathways of a higher vibration. And by that, I mean, like, when you say the word love, I love you. Can you feel how that feels good? Yeah, high energy versus like, you know, who do you think you our dear, that is low, we need to look up, we need to incorporate more love, more compassion, more kindness, more passion, more joy, more things that make us in bring us into alignment with who we really are. That is who we really are. We’re children of God. We’re precious children of God. But see, I because I didn’t have that foundation. I didn’t go to church, I wasn’t told to trust, I didn’t have any of that. So that is why I carried that with me for so long. So it starts with awareness. And then you begin the healing journey. And it’s daily, it’s every day doing things a little bit different, adding in things that you didn’t do before that you didn’t think about before that different behaviors, different practices. You know, for my entrepreneurs, I would say, if you’re about to start doing some business development, and a lot of people get really nervous when it comes to sales, because they have a lot of stories like oh, I don’t want to bug anyone and I feel slimy, I feel icky, right? But if you all of a sudden, right before you start, you get on the call, say a prayer. And thank already for all the people that you’re going to be changing their lives, or put on some good music and dance, change up your energy, and then go and make the phone call, oh my goodness, that’s when everything’s going to change for you. Because the problem is our driving force is I’m not good enough for so many people. Whereas if we start incorporating these little practices, our driving force changes too. I’m doing this because this is what I love to do. And I came here to create and to express myself and that is what I was put on this earth for to share my gifts, and I’m gonna trust and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

 

19:24

So good. And you know what I love? I love that no matter what different authors may call it, you know, whether they know Jesus or they don’t know Jesus, they’re really all pointing back to Scripture, because it really goes back to God made us the way we are for a purpose. Yes, he promised to equip us for that purpose, even if we feel ill equipped. And so it goes back to that surrender the trust and being who he made you to be, which is just amazing. Oh, and that’s what

 

19:55

I felt the first time I walked into a church you know, my first time into a Christian Church was about I want to say like eight or nine years ago, and I would say, the feeling I didn’t go there looking for Jesus, like I hadn’t found Jesus yet. I didn’t know Jesus in my life. I went there just to support my husband, I noticed that when he had Jesus in his life, he was a better husband, a better father. But the feeling was everything huge. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I was welcome. I felt like I was loved. I felt like I could hope for better days, I didn’t have any of that when I was growing up, you know. So what a beautiful gift to give children that foundation. That’s why I’m big on bringing this to children. And I think we need to bring this back into the schools and back into the workplace, because this is what’s missing. It’s this higher power, whatever, whether it’s Jesus for you or something else. It’s the reason why we feel a need to be kind to others, and ourselves. And that’s what is missing in today’s workplace. We’re so threatened, because we don’t know our worth, we forgotten who’s we are, that we have forgotten that we are all God’s children. And we all have get gifts and talents. And together, we’re better and stronger. You know, we’re not here to compete with one another. Yeah, that’s my mission to transform the workplace, for us to start seeing each other as brothers and sisters and full of love and light. And together, we can co create some beautiful epic stuff.

 

21:27

Yes, that is so good. Oh, my gosh, that is just so good. All right. So let’s talk. Let’s shift gears just a little bit. Okay. Because I want to make sure we talk about your one year later framework. And it’s a form of I know, you said quantum jumping. Yeah. Now when I hear quantum, I will tell you what, I think I am not a sciency person. I’m a words person. I’m a little like, logical person. But science and AI. It’s not my thing. But I love the word quantum to the extent it means you’re not just taking baby steps. Yeah, like making quantum leaps. So tell us what this one year later framework is all about?

 

22:05

Yeah. And I’ll tell you quickly how I came across it because it was by accident. I was going through a really bad time in my life, like 15 years ago, let’s see 2005. Yeah. And everything in my life was just painful to think about. And so I started playing a game. And in that game, it was one year later, and I ran into a friend. And I started telling her about all the amazing things that happened in my life. And I talked about the house that I bought that was 2000 square foot with the high ceilings, wood floors, granite countertops, on a cul de sac with all these little kids that my son could play with, you know, I got into such detail and it brought me such joy, it instantly changed my energy, it instantly changed my emotions. So whereas I was feeling scared, and worried and sad, it instantly made me excited. And so what I started doing is I started taking it into my career, I started talking about how I was a wholesaler now, and that I found this company that just saw my raw talent, even though I didn’t have the traditional, you know, career path that they needed. And Judy, I kid you not. Within a few months, it didn’t even take a year. Everything that I said out loud, came true. Every and I was like, What did I just tap into. And that’s what I’ve been studying for all these years. So quantum jumping, all it is, is when you take it’s basically one energetic state that completely changes. So imagine when somebody’s worried and depressed, think of what’s going on inside on an energy level, like you can feel when you’re around depress people, and all of a sudden their energy completely shifts. And now they’re in a much better place. So for me, I went from fear and worry to joy, excitement and enthusiasm. That is quantum jumping. And that is power bowl, I mean, this physics that we’re talking about. And so that one year later is now my framework. It’s what I teach. And it’s a tool that’s so powerful, and you can bring God into this tool. It doesn’t matter how you use it. The key is that you take your eyes and I love this because God even said, If you don’t like like turn your cheek, turn your cheek, like instead of focusing on what’s not working in your life, turn your cheek. And that’s exactly what I started doing. And that’s exactly what I teach, when we are looking at the very things that are not the way that we think they should be right? Because we know that God’s plan is better than our plan. But we still are holding on to our plan like No, no, no, I did adopt it this way. It didn’t happen this way. But when we are able to all of a sudden now jump to a future state in mind to where all the stars line up and everything’s working to our advantage. And we trust and we have hope and excitement and enthusiasm and we can maintain that energetic level throughout our workday. Well then people are just going to be drawn to us like have you ever met somebody that you just wanted more of them and their energy, like I want to be around that person, they make me feel amazing. That’s what quantum jumping does. It takes us out of the normal, depressed and anxious state that I think 87% of the workplace is facing. And it shifts us into much higher possibilities. What is possible in the future?

 

25:20

Yes, I love it. Wow, you, you I don’t know if you know from what you may have seen about me online, but my life mantra, and I bring it into business is pursue the impossible. So I love thinking about not just what’s possible. But what is impossible that with God is 1,000% able to be because of just as we’ve talked about, surrender obedience, faith, and walking, as if knowing that if that is in God’s will, it will be,

 

25:54

it will be it’s done. Right. And so it is yeah. So I love that. That is great. So you would love to one year later.

 

26:04

Definitely powerful. Yeah, I definitely look forward to watching some of your videos to find out even more about that. So Tom goes too quickly. So as we wrap up, first of all, is there anything that we didn’t get touch on or maybe something we did that you want to emphasize, to really make sure our listeners caught it?

 

26:25

I would just want to remind your listeners that nothing is more important than their peace of mind. They want to drive business, nothing is more important than their peace. It’s in the stillness that we get our answers, you know, so no matter what your life looks like, now, if you can just start incorporating these practices that allow you to feel peace, whether it’s scripture or walk in nature, or you know your mantra, do whatever it is, just come back to the peace, lean in on the peace. Everything that you need to make your dream happen is already inside of you and you will figure it out. The most important thing is you calm your nervous system because it gets dysregulated when you’re triggered. Learn to calm that nervous system. Come back to your peace, because that’s where you’ll find your power.

 

27:15

Oh, man. Oh, that’s so good. That is so so good. I love it. All right. So where is the best place for us to connect with you online or find you?

 

27:24

Yeah, so my websites a great place WWW dot the rainmakers way.com. You can also find me on LinkedIn, for under violet, rainwater or Instagram, it’s at violet rainwater, and I am going to be starting a YouTube channel, but not quite yet. So those would be the places to come and find me.

 

27:44

All right, well, I’ll be sure to have all of that in the show notes and violent. Thank you so much. This has been a really impactful 30 minutes.

 

27:52

Thank you kindly Thank you for having me. All right,

 

27:54

my pleasure. And ladies, if you’ve loved this episode, I’ve no doubt you did. Please take a moment and leave a rating and review it matters and it helps to spread the message of the lord of powerful business and of pursuing that impossible to you know, the outer reaches of the world and we are in I think 35 countries now we’ve expanded by God’s grace and almost to that 100,000 downloads. So thank you for your support. Do let us know what topics you’d like us to cover. And if you have an amazing guests like violet, reach out Judy weber.co/podcast You can leave me a voice note there. So until next time, thank you and God bless bless

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