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Ep 244 Transcript


All right, welcome. Welcome. I’m so excited to bring this special live on this beautiful Friday afternoon. Today’s topic is unique. How the rags to riches story does not always serve your business. If this is the first time that we’re meeting Hello there. I’m Judy Weber former trial lawyer and C suite executive turns serial entrepreneur. And as a business strategist and scaling expert I help unapologetically ambitious Christian women make more money and live a life that is worthy of their calling, and do it all with simplicity and joy. Because look, ladies, the key to a seven figure business is not more, it is less less complexity, less stress, and definitely less hustle. Okay, well, today I’m blessed to have strategist and copywriter Kristin Westcott here. And I want to tell you a little bit about her as I bring her on screen. Hey, good. Hey there, Kristin. Hello. Kristin helps online coaches obs and other service providers set priorities communicate effectively and scale without the overwhelm. She provides her clients with a clear vision copy and a strategy that guides their actions. And I love the Kristin like me is passionate about helping women owned businesses thrive without hustle. And that burnout that all too often accompanies that hustle. So once again, welcome, Kristin. So glad you’re here.



Thank you. I’m excited to be having this conversation today.



It is so important. It is so important that today’s topic talks about story in a way that paves the way to real authentic connection. Because there’s often talk about the rags to riches story. And how this live came to be is Kristin and I were chatting and she said, You know what? The rags to riches story is not being told the right way. So today is all about that. How do we incorporate this missing element to make your rags to riches story really hit the heart of your clients. So let’s start here for listeners and those watching that aren’t really sure what it is. Tell us? What what is the rags to riches story?



Yeah, yeah, let’s start. Let’s start there. Because there might be some confusion about that. So if you have been in the online space at all in the last little bit, and you hit up a website, homepage, the about page, a sales page, you’ll often find a little blurb about the entrepreneur or the business owner who’s going to be working with you in that capacity. And typically, it’s a story of I was either I was poor, and I did this thing. And now I have a seven figure business, or, you know, I was this way and I did this and now I’m this way. And it’s very like formulaic, right, like the before, and the after, with with no, not much in the middle of except that, hey, you could do it too. And so essentially, it’s kind of showing you it’s it’s almost like a Cinderella story, right? Like, you have the Cinderella she’s in her rags, she’s scrubbing the floors. And Bibbidi Bobbidi. Boo, along comes the fairy godmother, and now she’s in this beautiful ball gown, right? Like, the transformation does not happen via you know, Fairy Godmother. There’s to be happening in the middle. But we’re framing our story as if it’s just as simple as that. And it’s really detrimental to people in a lot of different ways.



So, and you’re so right, and this is how the conversation came to this point. Because you’re like, you know what, when you and I were sharing our stories, we’re like, wow, people need to know that. About what happened more when you were at that down spot? And what exactly did you do to go from here to here? So let’s start with the basics of what can we do instead of in a formulaic fashion, say, here’s where I started, and here’s where I am now.



Yeah. And so I think it’s really important, especially, you know, in this new decade that we’re in, and all the things we’ve been experiencing the last couple of years for people to really be real, and have those conversations with their audience, with their friends with their team members that are real and raw, and talk about the things that they’ve gone through. And so when you’re trying to frame these things in your copy on your website, when you’re having conversations with your audience, it’s important for them to know the full story, the things that happened in between there, right, looking at what were the challenges that you faced along the way? What were the experiences that you had the people you came in contact with, maybe the mentors that you worked with, in order to help you overcome these things, because a lot of coaches have trained under a particular mentor, you know, and that all becomes a part of who you are and your framework and the knowledge. It’s really important for people to understand the journey that you’ve taken, because that adds value to your story. And we’re cutting that out and when it actually adds really important context. how we became the person we are today.



Right? That’s so good. Well, you know, as you were talking, that kind of raised an issue for me, how much is too much? Like and how personal like for me, I’m an open book, what does anybody want to know? I will say, but for others, maybe they’re a little bit more guarded. Maybe there was a lot of trauma, for example, in their life like me, you know, I was beat up on my wedding night. And I and I will talk openly about that I don’t hold back, but there are some that are like, Oh, I don’t know if I can share that, like, how much do we need to share before it becomes unnecessary? Or too much?



Yeah. So there’s kind of two parts of this question. First thing I would say is, I’ve heard this phrase before, I can’t remember who said it out. Sabrina Greer was a book coach that I worked with for a little bit. And she always say, Don’t share from an open wound you share from the scar. So if you are going through it, and you are caught, you’re currently in the midst of it, that is not a good time to share, you’re going to be coming at it from a very, very deep place, you’re going to be coming at it with a lot of hurt a lot of emotion, unprocessed emotions. And that can actually be detrimental to your brand to your audience, having faith and confidence in your skills and your abilities, even if it’s not related to what you’re doing. So I would say if you’re going through something, wait until you’ve processed it, wait till you’ve worked through it, wait until you’ve come to terms with whatever it is that you’ve gone through. And then you can share what you’re comfortable with, with your audience from that scar. And I say share what your comfort with because like you said, Judy, each one of us has a different threshold for how much we want to open up and be and be vulnerable. And that does not mean you need to go in you need to share your personal trauma or your your stories, you know, that you’re not comfortable putting out there and open. So I would say share at the level that is most comfortable for you, and what your audience also expects from you from your past experience with them, right, you’re not going to all of a sudden be completely surface level and then be like diving into the deep traumatic experience that you had when you were attending college. And you know, you maybe somebody slipped something into your drink and whatever, like you’re not just gonna go from zero to 60 and dive right into that kind of stuff. But you can set you can start to talk about the fact that you have had some negative experiences that you understand what it’s like to feel completely out of control of your body, because you had this experience during this time you were attending college. And you don’t have to dive into the details, you can just kind of talk about the fact that you have gone through some traumatic experiences, you’ve had to do the work to get over those. You’ve you’ve brought in other support systems, whatever those may be, so that people understand that you the work that you’re doing is informed by all of the support you received by all the things that you’ve learned along the way. I’m



so good, so good. And I feel like it’s I feel like that may be a fine line. As far as I’m thinking. I’m very practical. You know, I’m very practical. So I’m anticipating what the audience might be thinking. And so we talked about, we don’t want to be formulaic to the extent of here’s where I started, here’s where I am now, Aren’t I amazing? Come work with me. But can you give us some tips or how tos as far as how to frame out this journey, you know, the hero’s journey, or the rags to riches story? In a way, like for one one thought was how long? How long is too long? How short is too short? And I know there’s no one way but just some guidance in that way?



Yeah, I think it entirely depends on where this this copy is going where you’re telling this story, right? If you have the capacity, like like we are to have a conversation, you can obviously go a little bit more in depth, you can go into a bit more details. Because you’re actually having that conversation with somebody. Right? It feels more like you’re sitting there with a friend and you can kind of they can prompt you with questions. And you can dive a bit deeper. When you’re writing a piece of copy for your website or for your sales page. You’re not going to dive into all the little nitty gritty details. But you can start to say things like, you know, here’s where I was, here’s what I went, you know, maybe what you went to school for. And then I had this experience. And this particular experience really shaped my complete outlook on life. So that when I graduated, I was no longer interested in doing this thing over here. I was now really called to fulfill this priesthood to work with people in this way because of this experience that I’ve had. So you have to like, dive right into the whole details of that experience. But you’re letting people know that you started here. You had this life altering experience. And then you and you can even say and now four years later, I’m doing this work. So they understand that there was a period of time in there that you actually had to do some work. It wasn’t an overnight like boop, like the fairy godmother came and all of a sudden you’re here. Yeah, that’s right. Like, especially if you’ve gone through something traumatic. It’s important that people understand that there is a process that there is some ongoing work. And not every problem can be solved in 30 days, right? That’s why we sometimes work with our clients for six months or a year and then you To understand maybe that the reason for that container is because you’ve done this work and you know that there’s going to be challenges along the way, you know that there’s going to be things that they’re going to come up against, that’s going to take some time to work through. And you understand that, and you’re holding the space for them. Because you understand, you know, what are some of the things that they might be encountering along the way?



Yeah, I love that. Because we know that people are going to buy from someone that they like trust. I don’t like to say the know, like trust, because it’s just so formulaic, but but it really does come down to trust, like, like, what do I think about this person? And why does her experience or education? How does that bear on my problem? And does she really know where I’m at right now? And so I want to raise another issue that’s related to this. And that is, I know, a lot of women, you know, we’re so darn hard on ourselves. We’re our own worst critics. A lot of women say, you know, what, I’m not specially educated, or certified in an area, but yet they’re gifted God has gifted them with a special something. So how do we how do we add some substance and value to our story, when we don’t have that cred that we feel we need?



Yeah, well, I would say if you have credentials in in anything, right, like you’ve, you’ve completed any kind of post post secondary education, it doesn’t have to be you went to a particular college and you achieved a certain diploma or degree, it could be anything that you’ve done, that you’ve taken, special interest courses in the community, things like that. They all enrich who you become. And even if you they don’t directly seem to relate to what you’re doing. So for example, I have, I’ve gone to school for several different things. Not only am I a serial entrepreneur, but I was a serial diploma chaser I guess.



A lot with us, you know, passionate, you know, that just happens.



Yeah, yeah. One of the things I did is I have a certificate to be a legal assistant in a law firm. Yeah, nothing to do with the health coaching, which is the space I started, when I started in the online industry, I moved from health coaching into business, and then into copywriting, zero relation. But what people understand is through that training, I learned particular skills about project management, I learned how to deal with difficult people I learned, right, you learn all of these things. And so even if they don’t directly relate to what you’re doing now, people, they’re what the industry would call transferable skills, if you want to go back to corporate speak, right? Like there are all kinds of things that you’ve learned that can be transferred over into what you’re doing. So I would never shy away from hiding. The credentials are the certifications that you do have, because they just show that you have done work in some capacity. Now, if you don’t have any, you know, there is zero shame in trying to get into any kind of a business opportunity, without any kind of certification behind you. Okay, so I want to take the shame right out of it. Because I feel like sometimes in the online space, there’s this idea of where authority needs to come from. But your experiences themselves speak volumes about who you are the person you become the values that you hold, the people you want to work with, right, we talked about the things that you might have overcome to be in the position that you’re in today. And those become your qualifications, right, they don’t have to come with that fancy 1000s of 1000s of dollars piece of paper. Those are just as rich. All that people want to know is if you can help them with their problem. And so even if you don’t have a piece of paper checked and signed by somebody that says you can, if you have that deep knowledge from working with people from working through things yourself, that is going to be what people are going to be looking at instead of the letters behind your knee.



Yeah, it’s so good. And the proof is in the pudding in the way of client results, client testimonials, that, you know, we’re talking about giving the ladies permission, we talked about that before we went on and you just said hey, no shame. So we’re, we’re empowering you and emboldening you, those of you watching are those that are going to be listening to this when it becomes an episode of by joyful scaling podcast that you need to boldly speak, you know, the truth of your experience. And I want to highlight something you said there, Kristen, you were talking about how your skills that you got through the legal training, the legal assistant training, you know, some people might flip over that and say, that didn’t have anything to do with it. But like, what you did is you dug and you identified skills that absolutely matter in what you’re doing now. So I want to encourage the ladies, you know, and this happens with my clients as well. I say what’s special about you? Nothing. They’re like, what I’m just little old me and I’m like, Okay, thank you now you’re humble. Now put your CEO hat on. Okay. And you’ve got to unapologetically put yourself out there. Why should someone choose you over somebody else? So I’d love to talk to us for a little bit more about that about how you maybe work with your clients in saying, Tell me about your background, so that then you can find those gold nuggets of experience, whether it’s formal or informal.



Yeah, so I mean, anytime I work with a client, I mean, I send them a pretty extensive pre work questionnaire, but then we get on a call, and we I tell them to block off 90 minutes for this call, because this is where I’m digging, and I’m pulling for those stories. And so I’ll ask them, okay, so what, you know, depending on their age, right? If they’re, if they’re younger, Gen Zed, like, what have you done since high school? Or if they’re further along? I’ll just ask them, Well, you know, what they’ve been doing in the last few years? And I’m pulling and pulling them like, Okay, and what did you love about that? And who did you work with? And what kinds of encounters did you have? And, you know, what, what do people comment on? Like? Did anybody come to you for anything in that role, and that’s a big thing we don’t often think about is, what did people come to us for? So even if you’re working in any kind of office environment, even if you all have the same role, you know, there’s certain people that you go to that person, because they’re super organized, you go to this person, they’re the party planner, the events kind of person that’s always doing the potlucks and everything else, right. You know, there’s certain strengths that people have, even if you’re all holding the same role. And so that’s usually when I ask people for is like, what did what do people come to you for? What did you know? What are you known for in your circle of friends, and oftentimes, those are the skills that we have, that we don’t even recognize, because they’re just so deeply ingrained into who we are, they’re just these natural gifts that we’ve been given that we don’t even recognize that not everybody has that gift. And so that’s what I want you to kind of start to tap into. And I work with a lot of women, and so many of them are just like, well, you know, I’m just a mom doing this on the side, this is my side house, and I’ve got kids, I’m like, Uh huh, I’ve got kids too. And you know how hard it is to be a mom, there are so many skills, you develop juggling different children’s schedules, and if they have different dietary needs, and getting this one here, and this one here, and then all the wonderful activities the teacher sent home that needs to be done, or special days that you’ve now got to go out and find a different colored shirt for this particular day. And I mean, that in itself takes a skill to do that, and not lose your sanity. And so dig into some of those things that you have, because not everybody is going to handle that with the same grace that you might be going through it with.



Wow, so true. And there’s one word that popped out out of all those beautiful words, you just said. And that is just, we women say, Oh, I’m just have this, or I’ve only done that. But we really have to again, maybe if it’s helpful, because you know, I can see, I think all of us maybe can see someone else’s brilliance more than we can see our own. So ladies, if if you have a difficulty, and you’re thinking about Hmm, what have I done, you know, what is my rags to riches story are what is my experience, and you’re like, I just don’t see it, not even seeing it, then you need to, you know, get yourself out of your own head and look at yourself and kind of really just take yourself out of your own brain. And objectively, I would suggest like just write down things just right. And just want to do an example. Until very recently, I never talked about the fact that my first job out of college was at Macy’s. And as I thought about it, I worked there I was commissioned sales in the better women’s clothing department. In six months, I got hired, rather promoted to management, where I was managing a multi million dollar multi million dollar budget and revenue producing department at the age of 22. Like, it just happened, so I just counted it until somebody else talking to someone like what, what were you so I’m just giving you that as an example that I thought, oh, that’s just a temporary job at Macy’s? Well, no, that’s pretty darn important.



Yeah, exactly. And it’s just part of our culture that women are still taught to, to kind of downplay a lot of what it is that they do, right to be humble. And there’s nothing wrong with being humble. But at the same time, at some point, you need to be proud of these things and stop being so humble all the time and actually step out there and, and share with everybody, all of the wonderful things that you’ve learned and that you’ve done, you know, in your time here on Earth. Yes.



And you know what, I’m gonna say this, I never really said this in public or in a formal way. So I’m just gonna let it flow out. I think humility is more like your relationship to others, like not thinking that you’re better than others. But to me boldly putting yourself out there as long as it’s not in arrogance, and in a way of like self serving ambition, where it’s like, look at me, I’m great, but but you need to put yourself out there. So that your people are drawn to you and say, Wow, she knows what she’s doing. So to me, I really want those that are watching and those that are going to be watching and those that are going to be listening. I want you to think about that. And as Bible believers go look that up, what does God say about humility, it is not treating yourself like a doormat, that is not what God wants for any of us. It is, you know, taking these talents and gifts that the that the God Almighty had given you. And like putting them out there to the world serving others with those God given gifts. So I don’t know, if you have a reaction to that issue of humility and arrogance, there’s like, there’s like a huge difference there.



There is a huge difference there. And you know, your Savior, what whoever you believe that to be, would not want you hiding, they would not want you hiding all of your your skills and your talents and your brilliance that they want you out there serving people in, you know, in any way that you can. And we all have different gifts here on this earth. So no, don’t downplay yours, go out and shine and showcase them and help the people that you can help



beautiful, anything on your heart that we didn’t cover in the way of boldly putting your story out there.



I think it’s just that one little bit that we talked about before we went live. And that was just, you know, we often feel that we need permission. And we don’t. But if you need permission, duty, and I are giving you that permission today to go and do and tell your story and talk about your lineage, and talk about the education that you’ve put into the things any work that you do with duty, right, that is education, that’s learning that’s experience, all of those things can be added to the stories that you tell down the road in the future can be added to the copy that you’re putting in various different places, because it’s work and any kind of work, you know, needs to be shared, we need to let people know that it’s not overnight success, always, that it’s not we know we live in an Amazon world. And not everything is delivered the next day, right? We there are challenges and says, and we need to kind of balance that scale and really showcase to people that this is possible. It’s a wonderful opportunity. And you know what part of the journey might not have been so great, but I wouldn’t trade any of it. Because without those experiences, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And I wouldn’t be able to support people in a way that I can support them today.



That is so true. And I really want to piggyback on that on this word empathy. It just popped into my brain. If I wouldn’t have personally dealt with, you know, domestic violence, I just wouldn’t have the capacity. Like I wouldn’t have the understanding, like I would empathize with them. But my empathy for those that experienced something that I experienced, it’s like so high. And and so there’s a relatability factor there. And I’m always amazed, Kristen, that there’s a high percentage of women that I talk with, whether it’s clients or people like you collaborative type partners. They’ve experienced that to some degree. So again, yes. Piggybacking on this idea of permission, if you think you need it, I’m dubbing you, the queen of whatever you need to speak your story. Well, Kristin, thank you so much. Why don’t you tell everyone how to best connect with you and find you online?



Absolutely. So you can find me here on LinkedIn. I’m at Kristin Wescott on LinkedIn. And you can find me over on Instagram. So those are my top two social platforms. And same thing. I’m there at Kristin Westcott. And I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear your takeaways from the conversation we had today. And any questions you might still have about the rags to riches story and how you can kind of maybe shift yours to be a little bit more, have a little more depth to it.



Awesome. And yes, leave your comments below. Ladies, we will come back and comment. All right, Kristin, thank you again for your time. This has been a wonderful conversation as I knew it would be. Absolutely thank you so much, Judy. Alright, thank you for watching. Enjoy your rest of your day and have a great weekend. Bye


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