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Ep 234 Transcript

00:02

Welcome to this episode of The joyful scaling Podcast. Today, I’m addressing your inner work, ladies, we’re going to be talking about self sabotage, I’m going to be sharing with you the three types or categories of thought only three, and see where you spend most of your time. And finally, we’re going to be talking about pursuing the impossible, which is my mission, I make it my mission for my clients, and I want to make it yours as well. Because I believe that’s what God calls us to us. All he has so much for us, ladies. And we just let it slip through our hands. We need to pursue that impossible having faith in the God that we call God Almighty, right. But before I get into all of that, I want to make sure you know about a very special thriver, Thursday live that is happening this Thursday. It’s called which marketing strategies work in 2022? And how to choose the right one for you. Because here’s what I find. There are, you know, I tried to count the number of different marketing strategies out there, and they’re literally limitless. And I feel that so many women, whether you’re just getting started, or whether you’re like my client, where you’re approaching the six figures, or you’re there and you really want to go well beyond six figures, you want to scale it to make big impact, make big profits, all of that which is good, good, good to benefit other people. We often get too wrapped up in which ones right? Like, and we get all wrapped up into what is this guru say is the go to marketing strategy right now, or Oh, this one says that one, which one do I choose? So if you ever have confusion, and doubt about which marketing strategies for you, you’re going to get absolute clarity. So join me for this week’s thriver Thursday live it happens. Thursday’s always this Thursday, February 3 11am. Eastern. When I go live inside my joyful scaling Facebook group. I go live on YouTube joyful scaling for female CEOs, right. And I go live on Instagram, as well as LinkedIn. All right, well, let me get into today’s topic, and I’m talking about self sabotage. Now, we know that let’s start with the positive. Okay. We ladies, think about it. I bet you and most of your friends are multi passionate. Am I right? You can do lots of things. Great at many things. And you have big dreams, like like you have these great ideas and you dream about what it could be right? And most of my followers, most of my listeners, you are well educated. Whether that means formal education in the way of university or, you know, you are a Constant Learner. You’re a voracious reader, you love to learn. You’re like a sponge. And that’s me. Okay. So that’s a great thing. You have these big dreams. You’re smart, you’re ambitious. But what I find is that we play small. We hold back. And we struggle with things like perfectionism. It’s got to be right. It’s got to be just right. Or I’ve got to stand still until it gets right. Right. And overthinking, and people pleasing. And I know for me in school, I had to get the straight A’s. Now listen, I have a confession. I was not the type of girl that had to get the 100 if I just got good enough to eke in the A at 90% I was happy. Okay, but I want to be a because I wanted to be the best. Okay. And, you know, it’s funny, I really think that we make success harder than it has to be. You worry too much about other people. And not enough about the Lord God and what He says about you. And me. Because it’s so funny how ladies are so gracious to each other. Many times, right? If you hear someone, if you hear another woman put herself down. I bet 99.99999% of the time you’re going to come to her defense and say What are you talking about? You are a beautiful woman, you are a smart woman. Look at all that you’ve accomplished, right? We’re going to build her up. Oh, but when those ugly things come to mind, inside our own heads. We, you know, we don’t give so much grace to ourselves. In fact, we just kind of pile on, don’t we?

 

04:50

And it’s this negative self talk that just takes us down a bad spiral to nowhere. Really, and it makes our dreams and all the possibilities of what could happen in the future. It just robs us of that. And it reminds me of John 1010, where the enemy is absolutely out to steal, kill and destroy. But meanwhile, but God, Oh, I love that phrase, but God has abundant life for us, right? Abundant Life life to the full. And so, you know, while we are so quick to give grace to others, what I find in women and myself, we find it very difficult to ask for help. I don’t want to bother anybody. I don’t want to put anybody out. Does that ring true for you? And so, especially as entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, which I know many of you are, or maybe we have a team member, but they’re virtual, and they’re like, out there somewhere. They’re not here with us. And so we feel alone. We feel alone, we feel isolated. Thank God, we’re coming out of the pandemic may never go back to that Lord. But we as women need to be connected. And yet, we hesitate to ask for help. We feel alone, right. And we know this can sound really harsh, ladies. But as I was thinking about this, there’s almost like an element of self loathing. And I find it creeping up. My sister and I were talking about it, you know, my sister is a coach as well. We’re talking to she said, she said, You too many women. Load themselves. I go cheer Come on. That is a that’s a strong word like hatred. When I thought about it, hmm. Could it be true? And then this, this, this aspect of self sabotage came to mind. And you know, the obvious things of, you know, overthinking perfectionism people pleasing. Oh, I can’t move forward with this new offer. I can’t put it out there. I can’t show up live all these things. Yes, that’s the obvious self sabotage. But how about these more subtle things? Like, you end the day after feeling really pretty good about yourself. And you know, you packed on a few pounds if you’re like me over the holidays, but just because you’re over 50. And so you’ve done well throughout the day. But somehow, at the end of the day, when the darkness comes, you almost feel like you need to reward yourself, hey, I worked hard today. But the things we do sabotage the success of earlier with respect to dieting and exercise or feeling good about taking care of ourselves, and some examples that I you know, struggle with is, you know what, at the end of the day, I’m gonna have that ice cream, I’m gonna have that piece of cake. Okay, I’m gonna have more than just a handful of nuts or popcorn. And I might even have an extra glass of wine. But in doing that, we just messed up all the good that we did earlier. Why? Why do we do it? Why do I do it? Lord, help me self control right through to the Spirit. But there’s even more subtle aspects of self sabotage, about this one. That’s been gossip. Now, most of my listeners, you are entrepreneurs, but some of you are still incorporate some of you’re still working in that environment. And I remember well, how easy it is, especially from the pandemic that we’re coming out of, and Yay, I get to be around people. And then you gather by the watercooler so to speak and somebody has a negative comment about someone else, or somebody’s complaining, it’s the gossip or the complaining about what’s going on around you. And that’s a negative spiral, again, to know we’re good. And I thought about, you know, it seems so easy to want to get going to create quite a list of complaints. But yet, rarely, if ever, are we really focused on counting our blessings? Since pretty think about that. I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want to loathe myself. I don’t want to sabotage all the good that I’m doing for my clients to impact the world to impact my community. For me, right? This body is the temple of the Lord. Hallelujah. So I should not be mucking it up. Right.

 

09:46

Okay, so if you struggle with self sabotage, I just wanted to make you aware of some of the ways you could do it. And the way to overcome a stronghold or any challenge is to to first be aware of it, okay? And then if once you’re aware of it, and if you want it to stop, it’s as easy and sometimes as hard as step two, which is deciding, drawing that line in the sand and deciding no more. I will not do x. And then step three is committing to that decision, and not excuse making around it or, you know, creating rationales as to why I won’t always but this time, so Okay. All right. And I know that’s hard. Let’s think about that. Now, talking about thinking, Okay, I want to share with you three categories of thought. And I want you to in this idea of awareness, because the deeper I go in coaching with my coach, mindset, coaching in particular, and the deeper I go to the Lord in prayer to say, Lord, what does this mean, for me, as a believer in Christ, what he gave to me, were these three categories of thought. And I want you to think about where you spend most of your time. And I’m going to start with the one where I hope and pray this is the least amount of your time being spent here. The lowest category of thought, is scarcity. Scarcity. And that involves, you know, fear, desperation, feeling stuck, being confused, doubting, dealing with imposter syndrome. You know, I’m not enough, I’m on worthy. And in the way of entrepreneurship and sales that comes out, you know, with this sense of grabbing this, you know, I’ve got to chase, I’ve got to chase my clients down. In order to get clients, you know, I’ve got to, I’ve got to be on the run. I’ve got to tackle them, you know, that’s a scarcity mindset. That’s fear, all of it comes from the enemy. Again, John 1010, he’s going to throw every thing he can at you to bring you down, to steal your dreams, to kill them in their tracks, and to destroy everything you built thus far. Okay? Scarcity, don’t let him win. Again, if you’re aware of these thoughts that come up around scarcity, it’s the same three steps be aware of it, decide no more, no devil, you ain’t gonna win today. Three, commit to that decision, have no way not today, or not right now and do that all every single time. And then take different action. And so replace that negative lie, which is what it is, with the truth of God’s Word. And that, that, you know, speaks to how important it is to be in God’s word and to be in communication with him in prayer all day long, throughout your day, to empower you to to read your brain of that stuff that you really not to think about. Philippians four, eight, God gave us an exclusive list of things to think about in Paul’s letter. Right? We’re to think about things that are right, true, a noble, pure, admirable and lovely, were to think on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. And I can tell you fear, grabby desperation, feeling stuck, doubting feeling less than none of that is in any of those exclusive, good thoughts that God commands us to think about. Okay, so that is the lowest category of thought scarcity, make it like as close to zero in your day 0% of the time you spend there, you know, going forward, okay. So, going up on this chart of categories of thought, the next category is sufficiency, sufficiency. So, these thoughts of sufficiency would include I am enough, I am worthy. I can do this. I do have value to offer. Right. God will provide. Basically, it’s being content, knowing that you will have everything you need, again, relying on God’s amazing promises of sufficiency. Okay? So this isn’t a bad place to be. This is a place of gratefulness.

 

14:40

And so think about how often am I content? Like I’m not necessarily making big strides forward, but I’m certainly not going backward and I’m more positive than negative. I am more hopeful than hopeless. Then kind of in this middle ground of sufficiency, which is overall Good. But I want to challenge you ladies to spend most of your time in this third, higher category of thought. And that is the category of abundance, abundance. And again, going back to John 1010, Christ said, He came to give us life, he is life, hallelujah, he is life. And he came to give us life and life to the full. And that does not just mean once we meet Him in heaven, that is this side of heaven, right? And so what do thoughts of abundance look like? Well, when it comes to entrepreneurship, they would include things like I have clients overflowing.

 

15:47

So many want to work with me. God is overly generous to me, he gives me more than I need. He is so gracious to me. You know, those kinds

 

16:01

of things where where you are grateful, beyond grateful for everything that God has gifted you from, you know, from, you know, your your your smarts, and your character, and Your gifts to this desire to build something that matters for your business, and how he is blessing it. And you are just assuming that this big impossible, quote unquote, dream that he gave you, and put in your heart, perhaps like me, you had this feeling ever since you were a little girl, that you were meant to make a difference and a big difference. And now not only had to give you that desire, but he saw you through to bring it to fruition, where now you are doing big things, you know, my clients are start at the, you know, six figure level or close to it, and they are looking to do more, because they feel and firmly believe that we’re God has given me much I have a responsibility to give more to others, and to show up bigger and to show up, you know, in a way that serves beyond the norm. Right? Average, I never wanted to be average. Never wanted to be just kind of so so mediocre, kind of that is not me, I don’t believe it’s you. And I firmly believe that Christ followers, you know, that’s not what we’re called to. That’s a winner. He made us he put this desire to do big things in us we were not average, we’re not called to be average, we’re called to be set apart. Hallelujah, that’s our holy means set apart for God. Right? To do big things for him to bring Him glory, and to advance his kingdom to love others to serve others to the outermost just as Christ was the ultimate servant leader he modeled for us and he never held back. So where do we hold back? And in these three categories of thought, again, scarcity, avoided, right fight against it, because we’re empowered by the Holy Spirit to do exactly that. The second category sufficiency, which is fine, but I kind of feel like that’s feels average, I want to be content. The Bible calls us to be content. And I don’t want to almost put a bet on that. But I feel like I need to be content, and grateful. But I’m thinking we’re called to more in entrepreneurship, we are called not only abundance in dollars, abundance in impact, abundance in giving from the overflow. So I want you to be very aware of your thoughts this week. Where are you spending most of your time? And I can tell you that if you are on this positive trajectory in your business, no doubt in my mind, most of your time is spent thinking thoughts of abundance, as well they should, as well they should. Matthew 1926 with man, this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible. All things. So what are your takeaways from this from this episode? Ladies? I I pray that it awakens your awareness to where you could be even unintentionally sabotaging your own success. Look, it’s normal to fear. I think God knew that. That’s why 365 times he says in the Bible, do not fear. And I know that it may seem like I’m repeating a lot of the same ideas. Right pursue the impossible. Don’t let fear When choose faith over fear, you know and these thoughts of abundance and, and hopefulness and absolutely having a faith that is so strong, that it not only forms the basis of your business, but it fuels it forward, again into these thoughts of abundance. But you know what I’m going to keep repeating these basic quote unquote, ideas, concepts and philosophies because they are pivotal to your success, to your success, as a as a woman of God, to your success as a mom, wife, friend, and absolutely to your success, big success as an entrepreneur.

 

20:46

So become aware of these thoughts more and more. And I encourage you to journal and when these negative thoughts come up, identify them, call them out as the lies that they are, replaced them with biblical truths from God’s Holy Word. You know, decide, I’m not doing this anymore. I’m living bigger, I’m living better, I’m living my faith. Right? And I’m going to be doing scary things and big things and things I thought I would never do things I thought were impossible. And I’ll do it with the fear, but courageously knowing that God is going to fulfill his promises, and he promised to equip me with everything I need to fulfill his purpose in my life. So pursuing the impossible, that is our mission. What is your impossible that you are going to go after from this day forward? Unapologetically, I’ll read unrelentingly and with hope and confidence in the Lord that it will be by his hand. I want to know so reach out to me anywhere you are at Judy Weber co please DM me, I’d love to connect. And if you love this podcast, and oh my goodness, thank you so much for all your loyal listeners. I love you so much. Please, if you haven’t already, leave a rating and review it’s going to help to spread the word even more. And get this all important message out that women of God need to hear as always also if you know of an amazing guest or if you’re a potential great guests that could serve my beautiful women on mission to serve others and give glory to God through their business. Let me know at Judy Weber co because I’m producing this podcast to serve you. Alright, have a beautiful blessed rest of your day and look forward to seeing you back here again soon.

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