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Ep 231 Transcript

00:02

Hello ladies and welcome to this episode of The joyful scaling podcast. This one I’m calling what held me back from the success that I knew was mine in Christ, in working with the founding members inside my joyful scaling mastermind over the past couple of weeks, seeing breakthrough after breakthrough, and all the AHA lightbulb moments, lots of forward momentum happening in a short period of time as they’re going all in on my joyful scaling methodology. And they’re scaling their business, I’m teaching them how to do it in three simple steps. And, and these ladies that said yes to themselves, they’re showing up, they’re listening, they’re learning, and they’re applying. And they’re literally generating 10s of 1000s of dollars already in January, from generating nearly $15,000 to one woman close to 80,000. Okay, and it got me to thinking, what is the thing? Or what are the things that guarantee results, or put simply, what makes the difference, right. And then I got to thinking about my entrepreneurial journey, which began back in 2003, when I got fully booked as a brand new interior decorator, and actually had more business than I could handle all within the first month. Right. And then fast forward to more recently in 2017. And in 2019, when I pivoted to become, you know, I wanted to go all in on business coaching and scaling strategies for Christian women that were committed to using their God given gifts to impact the world in big ways. Right? So I thought, okay, so what made the difference for me? Like, like, what got me from the struggle in 2017? When I just felt like, Ah, I’m so smart. Why is this not happening faster for me, right? Today, just just doing big things, working with the very best clients, attracting people, women that I just can’t wait to have the opportunity to work with, because they’re as excited to work with me as I am with them. It’s just a beautiful, collaborative, mentor, mentee type, you know, respect for each other. I thought, gosh, what the heck makes a difference what happened with me. So today, I’m going to share seven things that back in 2017. And then when I pivoted in 2019, seven things that held me back from achieving the success that I wanted, the success that I always envisioned for myself, you may have heard me say before, ever since I was a little girl, I felt that I was going to do big things like like making a million bucks, I come from nothing, and I just felt like it’s mine. It’s gonna be mine one day, right? That’s success, that deep down I knew God had for me. So there’s gonna be it’s kind of like a, like a random thoughts type episode, a little bit of brain dumping here. So I hope that this will be valuable for you and see if you hold any of these, you know, seven stumbling blocks. And if you do identify them, and I hope through my conversation today, you can begin to, you know, identify that stumbling block and then take steps to overcome it. Okay, so stumbling block number one, that in looking back, I’ve identified for me, was unrealistic expectations. Especially because of my rapid success at my first entrepreneurial venture. When I launched my business coaching practice, I look back at my interior decorating, you know, business and I felt, wait a minute, wait a minute. Like, I should have been sold out in the first month. Like, I’m going to open my doors, I’m going to tell the world who I am. And, you know, people are gonna come to me just as easily as you know, getting more clients than I could possibly handle in the first month as an interior decorator. Right? But, you know, was that was that realistic? Was it even likely that I could sell out in coaching in my first month? No. Now look, you know me if you listen to this podcast at all, you know, I’m all about pursue the impossible. I don’t let myself or my clients get bogged down on what’s reasonable or what’s likely or what’s realistic. I don’t want you to allow that to stop you from really going for it and going big and having big dreams and visions and then implementing in massive ways, right? Massive Action for massive results. But here’s the thing, you can pursue the impossible. Always.

 

04:54

I think as Christians we’re called to that. With man it is impossible but with God nothing is impossible. In fact, all things are possible hallelujah. Right? So here’s the thing, when you hold yourself up to an ultra high standard, and, and you attach too much meaning to you’re not meeting that highest standard, it’s going to hold you back, you’re going to have drama, you’re going to, you’re going to feel defeated. And if you keep ruminating on what you identify as I failed, it’s going to potentially take you down a very wrong road. Because as I’m going to go through later, what you think about is ginormous. And to me, that is the key to everything, right? Alright. So number one was the unrealistic expectations. I listened to, you know, my clients, as well as others that reached out to me, and they’re in business for like six months, and they’re like, I only have gotten three clients. I’ve only gotten five clients. I hadn’t gotten a client yet. And so you know, is this really for me? Or women who have reached six figures that like, Okay, I can’t get beyond this level, or I can’t, I can’t seem to break through this. And a lot of times, it’s it comes from this number one stumbling block, expecting too much too fast, and not enjoying the journey, and trusting in the Lord, that things are going to happen at the right time. And God’s perfect timing. Okay, unrealistic expectations. Okay. Number two, thing that held me back from the success I knew that was mine in Christ is putting too much belief in the power of tactic

 

06:50

over strategy, the power of tactic, hey, give me that one thing I should do, and I’ll do it.

 

06:57

And, you know, there is no one magical tactic that’s going to work for everybody. Why do I want it? Well, you’re in different industries, maybe you have a different business structure, a business model. And maybe your offer is different than anybody else. And you have a different audience than others. And guess what? You are different than anybody else. So it’s not about the tactic. And I mentioned this example before, Oh, if only I knew how to post on social in quote, the right way, or how to engage people in the comments, or in the DMS. Oh, man, I’d be rolling in it. But just want this tactic spoon fed, without doing the think work behind it, the strategy, what I call the who, the what, and the how, behind the tactic, right. It’s like, though, I went to law school, and I learned how to think specifically how to think like a lawyer. Early on, in this coaching business, I neglected to incorporate that all important thing work, aka strategic thinking, right strategy, strategy, about how I would run my business, and how I would make decisions inside my business. So maybe that is a stumbling block for you. You’re not doing the thing work. You’re just doing the doing without the strategic thinking. Okay. Now, stumbling block number three for me was that I ran away from the very thing that was necessary to get me past any of my blocks, right, any of my stumbling blocks, and that is mindset work. And I’m ashamed to admit this, but I’m going to be really real with you. You know, I thought when I early on when I invested, and I invested heavily with coaches, and I sought out the very best, right? But when they were talking about my mindset, and what are you thinking about? And, you know, look inside and figure out kind of what, what makes you tick, and, and, and how you approach things and what you think about things could be the very thing holding you back whenever they said anything about that. First of all, I’m ashamed to admit this to that I spent tons and tons and tons of money with people who are not grounded in Christ. And so oftentimes, their tactics and their strategies, and their whole approach would be very worldly. And so initially, when I heard this whole thing about mindset, it just felt very woowoo to me. And in my arrogance, I thought, Well, my brain works just fine. Thank you very much. I passed three bar exams, talking about prideful and so I thought to myself, I don’t need to work on my brain. And even if I did, by the way, you aren’t smarter than me, so no, nothing to gain there. I mean, number one, the arrogance. I’m so ashamed. It’s just been But I’ll give myself grace. I’m just telling you, as I think back about that, you know, what does God say about pride? Before the fall, you experienced pride, right? So so we need to be open to what our coaches are telling us when you find someone you trust, right? And I can tell you, this mindset is ginormous, I’m going to talk about that in just a moment about, you know, just how important that is. But managing our minds, and our thoughts is, I don’t even know, a million times more important than the tactic or the any action that you take inside your business. If you’re not managing your mind, and directing your brain, what to think where to go. And there’s nothing woowoo about that. And I’ll explain that in a second, too. If you aren’t doing that, you’re in trouble. You’re working harder than you have to. Okay, so we’re already at stumbling block number four. And it’s similar. But it’s being unaware of negative thoughts. Like, I didn’t even realize that the negative thoughts, my approach to the mindset piece, hey, I’m smarter than you Who the heck are you, even though you’re making millions, and I’m trying to get there, right, unaware of my negative thoughts, and unaware of their power, and in particular, the impact of my thoughts on my results. It is not purely the actions you take that are going to get you your results. But the thoughts you have when you take those actions that are going to give you a result, and I can tell you that I fought that concept, tooth and nail for years. And when I finally came to realize the truth of that, wow, everything changed.

 

11:54

Okay, so when I mentioned unaware of negative thoughts, I want to say a few more negative thoughts that I had, see, if you have any of these negative thoughts, including blaming others, you know, I didn’t have enough access to my coach. And that’s why things aren’t happening, or, you know, gosh, I don’t know, their process, their whole approach is just plain old, stupid. There’s no way it could work. They’re just being they’re just flying by the seat of their pants, I thought, right. But really what that is, is I wasn’t coachable. I wasn’t humble enough to, you know, look at someone who achieved really what I wanted in the way of impact. Right? And the dollars that accompany that, but the impact and having the number of clients and really making a difference. I wasn’t willing to even listen or entertain that what they were telling me is right, and then never think back about like, Why did I even open my wallet for them then? Ridiculous, right? Another negative thought is envy. Like, I would look at other people in my coaching and mastermind groups, and I’d say I’m smarter than them. Like, why do they get to make that kind of money? And why do they make that kind of impact? And why are these clients coming to them? Right? It’s just like I was jealous of their success. How silly about this comparing, compare. And oftentimes looking at my, you know, first year against somebody else’s 10th year, I just didn’t realize that. But when you compare, you will always lose. Always. Because if you compare and you fall short, you’re going to say maybe I’m not good enough, like why am I even doing this? And that’s not right, you are good enough. Or if you compare, you think you’re better than them, then the pride comes in. So either way, comparison is a lose, lose. Okay, here’s another negative thought. And this is a biggie, Biggie, Biggie for Christian women, and that is money mindset blocks. And this is an issue not only for Christians, but also for those like me who were raised poor, who were told lies that our parents would say all the time, you know, it’s hard to make money. Right? So when you’re when you hear that for, you know, 3040 50 years, and then someone comes along says that’s actually quite easy. You know, we just, you know, here’s what you do, boom, boom, boom, you’re like, what? And then, you know, the typical model for your life is, you know, you graduate, you get into a good college, you get a great job, you work hard, you work long, until you get closer to retirement, then you might be able to, you know, in the law become partner and then you lighten up your load and you get a little bit more control. And that’s just nonsense. That is not that’s one way not the only way. Like there’s so many things that I was told as a child as a young adult as an adult, and I just believed it And that belief held me back. And as far as Christian women, even the guilt, the guilt around having big goals going after that million, when really, you know, the million dollars or you know, the $100,000, or whatever the amount is, you know, I know the women that follow me, and you have a big heart, and you are focused on the Lord God Almighty, and you do seek to bring Him glory, and you absolutely have the impact of your clients. You know, top of mind, it’s not about the money. You want you you do love God, and you want to love your clients love on them, and you know that the money will come. But still, there’s like that guilt there. Ooh, you know, is it? Is it sinful for wanting more? Now? It’s not. Right, all these like negative thoughts. Now, on the issue of thoughts, there’s the power of thoughts. You know, Joyce Meyer has it right? It’s battle of the mind. I read that book, you should read that book. Right? We are what we think about.

 

16:16

We are to hold every thought captive as unto Christ. And I go into some more detail on this. So listen to episode 229 of this episode, for more on kicking these negative thoughts out. These are really the darts the fiery darts of the enemy that we got to kick to the curb once and for all. Okay, Episode 229. Go back and listen. But negative thoughts are going to hold you back. Gotta kick them out. Got to first identify and be aware of them. Okay. And then when you do say no. Okay, the fifth thing that’s held me back, and maybe it’s holding you back is beating yourself up, being too darn hard on yourself. You know, for me, every fail, quote, unquote, I took as a massive defeat. As an example, if my goal was to enroll 10 new clients in a program. And I got only seven. To me, that was like a big a big fail. I mean, instead of saying, Wow, congrats, I got seven new clients, awesome. Instead, I looked at it on the negative. And then every fail, quote, unquote, made me question if this is what I was really supposed to do, then I go ruminating the down and the, you know, gosh, you know, Lord, is this my what your will for my life? Right? Have you ever done that? And how less recently have you done that to yourself? Because you are doing it to yourself? Again, the power of thoughts, how are we going to look at something? Is it the glass half full, or glass half empty? So instead of looking at a, quote, unquote, fail, as a learning experience, I considered the possibility that this wasn’t my calling, not what I was supposed to do. You know, our brains are really crazy the way they do we tend to go to the negative, the I can’t, as opposed to, well, I can’t and here’s why. Right. So instead of looking at that, as a fail, we’ve got to turn it around, and consider the possibility that that fail, quote, unquote, was just a necessary part of the process. It was a learning opportunity to get exactly what God wanted me to get at this moment. Right, exactly as you plant occurring at exactly the right time. That fail, quote, unquote, was actually just a part of God’s plan on my entrepreneurial journey. Do you struggle with that as well? Okay, almost there, ladies. Number six. The sixth thing that kept me small that held me back, was believing that the answer to the question of what am I missing? Have you ever asked yourself that, gosh, there’s something I must be missing? What is it? I answered the question with a belief that, well, this must be outside of me. Right? Like the GI answer, what I was missing, couldn’t be something that I could discover. I had to go out and discover it. Right? And so I downloaded all the things I watched all the free trainings, I followed all the gurus to try to find that elusive one thing that I was missing. Right? Have you ever done that? When now looking back, what I know, what I was missing was not outside of me. It was right there in me all along. And it’s the power of the Holy Spirit. And his promptings and his wisdom, His guidance, always ready to help.

 

19:50

If only I asked him for the help. And if only when I asked any answers But I actually heard the answer, like, was I sitting quietly before the Lord? Listening?

 

20:09

And if I did hear him, did I act on what he told me faithfully? Right? Was I taking action? From a place of trust and absolute belief? absolute faith? Right? I mean, when I look back on it, it’s like, Jesus Christ is the one and only thing that I really can count on and trust. How dare I try to find the answer in some freebie, especially from an unbeliever? Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ has all the answers now and forever. He is worthy of our trust. Hallelujah, hallelujah. So become the number seven. And this sums it all up. Really, the number one thing that was holding me back was I wasn’t living my faith. Inside my business. I was allowing the enemy to win. And unintentionally allowing the fear, the doubt and the insecurity to control what I was doing, and what I was thinking, right, and how I thought of me, and how I thought of my business in the world. And what was really possible for me, right? Oh, my goodness. And all of that stopped me from going big and showing up confidently. And being that powerful CEO, that the Lord God made me to be. You see, a lot of talk out there about become the best version of yourself. Right? Become a new you. Well, we know that when we are saved, the old is gone. And the new has come hallelujah. In Christ, we are new creations. But I firmly believe that we are who God made us to be. But if we aren’t living our faith, then we’re not being that person that God made us to be. And, you know, he’s like, Okay, well, what does that mean, Judy? Like, I want to become the woman. God made me to be how do I do that? I think it’s really surrendering all of your doubts, your fears and insecurities at the feet of the at the foot of the cross. And you trust and you go to God, and you say, I have faith, Lord, what do you have for me? And when he speaks, we’re going to listen. Okay? And we’re not going to doubt. My whole thing is that, you know, we, when we got saved, we became new creation. And I think it’s not an issue of becoming better, certainly not by our own power, or brute force, or will, but rather, it’s being willing to sit before the Father and and discover who it is that he made us to be. Right? I mean, in Episode 229, I talk further about this. So again, go back to that, that God has made so many promises for each and every one of his children. And so you can count on that and claim each and every one of those promises that are all yes, in Christ for you. Right, and you in life and in business, you are you, you you are, you know who you are, whether you are sitting in church on a Sunday, or working with clients on a Tuesday afternoon.

 

23:55

Right. But just fully embracing who it is He made you to be.

 

24:01

And allowing yourself to say thank you, God for these amazing, exceedingly great and precious promises that are all of your children’s in Christ. Lord, tell me more specifically, who you made me to be and what you have for me to do in life and inside this business, the desire of which you gave me right, the ambition to not just pursue money for money sake, not at all. But to pursue greatness by best using the talents, the gifts, the ambition that you gave me, Lord, so that above all, I can I can give you all the glory, all the praise, because but for you, I couldn’t do any of it. Okay, does that does that make sense? So it’s not becoming a whole new person is like, oh, you know, wow, I have to find something outside of me. To be who, who I think I need to be, heck no. God has everything you need. And he gave you the brains, you need to run an amazing business and make as much money as you want because he knows that his children will be very, very, you know, generous in the giving of their time and the more money comes in the more money to donate to advancing his kingdom. Right. So there should be no guilt around, allowing yourself to step in to the power that is yours in Christ, not only as a daughter of the king, hallelujah, but also as a powerful, powerfully impactful CEO, serving to the uttermost leaning on your faith courageously, powerfully, intentionally. So I hope that you have taken some notes and identified which of these stumbling blocks that Judy experienced, am I kind of grappling with I’d love to hear from you. So let’s connect on social anywhere that you are, I am at at Judy Weber CO at Judy Weber. CO so DM me, your thoughts here and even better. If you haven’t yet subscribed to the podcast, now’s the perfect time, hit that subscribe button so you don’t miss another episode. Tell a friend about this podcast. If you’re getting value from it, they will appreciate the good word. And if you haven’t yet left us a rating and review would you consider doing that right now as well. It means the world to me and it shows us that what we’re putting together my team and I really does make a difference in the world for Christ. So thank you for listening. I hope it has been valuable for you and give you some things to think and pray about and I look forward to seeing you next time.

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